True freedom is freedom from our own automatic responses” Krishnamurti

The “problem”

Relationships can bring great joy but also significant challenge. As Marianne Williamson comments, “love brings up everything unlike itself”. In other words, intimacy provokes us and can bring our wounds to the surface. In this process there is great opportunity for healing, but if we are not careful, we get stuck in the hurt rather than finding a way to heal together. When this happens there can be a strong desire for co-operation and peace, yet these qualities can elude us.

What couples therapy can offer

Couples counselling can help you to:

  • bring awareness to what’s happening in the relationship
  • help you find tools and understanding to change what needs to be changed
  • improve communication

How we might work in couples therapy

Couples therapy can work in a variety of ways, depending on your goals, but ways of working might include:

  • developing listening skills
  • finding ways to express feeling and say what needs to be said
  • developing skills to share feelings in a non-provoking way
  • understanding how the past might be influencing the present
  • exploring how you are similar, and how you are different, deepening understanding of self and other
  • finding ways to deal with the flashes of emotion which can sometimes derail conversations

My role

My role in the work is to listen and reflect what is happening and help you find ways to navigate the issues you are bringing as a couple.

Types of issues brought to couples therapy

Couples counselling can explore any aspect of relationship. This might include:

  • communication issues
  • changes brought about by the arrival of children
  • challenges brought about by bringing the lives of two people together
  • an affair
  • impact of illness or loss
  • sexual issues
  • effects of emotional or mental health issues such as anxiety or depression
  • growing apart
  • anything that is getting in the way of your connection

Resources

‘Mating in Captivity’ by Esther Perel and ‘Buddha in the bedroom’ by Cheryl Fraser both give good insight into relationships and what helps to foster connection